My current goto for enlightenment is TedTalks, which recently posted an article on Grit. It’s an old term that’s been repurposed as a measure of success. Researchers have found (I love using that phrase) that obvious factors such as IQ, EQ, upbringing, and environment are not the best indicators of whether a person will be successful or not. The real measure is Grit.
In a nutshell, Grit pertains to one’s ability to focus and persevere. Aha… so that explains why some of my family members, friends and associates who seem to have capabilities are continually foundering on the shores of life. You push, prod, guide, and hand-hold, but they stay caught in the ebb and flow of the waves on the shoreline. They wash in and wash out, but essentially stay in the same place. If you happen to be one of the prodders, this can be an extremely frustrating experience, because you continue to believe that if you prod enough then they will succeed…. WRONG… because they lack grit!
Lacking grit is not a bad thing. It’s akin to saying that a person who cannot play music by ear is lacking. No…. as my ex-son-in-law would say…. It is what it is.
Yesterday, Hubby and I went on a hike to Penasquitos Park with a determination to get to the waterfall because the last time we couldn’t make it. Actually, the last time we were smart enough to know that the day was too hot and the distance too far (7 miles round trip) so we turned around. This time we were not going to let a little heat and distance stop us. We were Focused!
Once we set a goal (focus) we will persevere until we reach our goal come hell or highwater! Unfortunately, the goalsetting did not take into account that we were starting late in the day (again) when the temps were already in the 80’s. We made it to the waterfall, but totally exhausted our energy reserves and put ourselves in a situation that could have resulted in headlines Hiking Seniors Suffering from Heatstroke Were Evacuated to Hospital.
Hubby and I happen to be a 10 on the grit scale and sometimes too much is as bad as not enough. But the real message is to the Prodders (We are also guilty and have spent A LOT of money and angst prodding. So we understand the impulse.) At some point, you have to recognize that we all do the best we can and that pushing and prodding is not only exhausting (for the prodder and proddee), but expensive and non-productive for all parties. It’s not about giving up. It’s about accepting the realities.