You turned to a couple with some years on them and 22 years in the marriage saddle in the hopes that we had the answer, and I sorely wished we had the script writers from Father Knows Best or the Cosby Show, because they always knew the right thing to say in every situation. Unfortunately, TV only imitates real life. Script writers get hours to prep “the right answer” and they have the luxury of wrapping everything up neatly with happy ending in 30 minutes.
I so wanted to give you the “right” answer. I wanted to solve “it”. I wished we had the sage and wise answer. Of course the sage and wise answer is that “what you seek is within”.
In your individual hearts, you know whether this is the person that you want to be with. You know if you want to build a life with this person. You know whether you want to be a couple or single… whether you would deeply miss your partner if he/she were absent from your life. You know whether this person makes you better, or happier, or saner or calmer. You know it’s right when you look forward to ending your day together. You know it’s right when you discover something and the first person you want to share it with is your partner.
A relationship is not an intellectual decision. It’s totally emotional, but more importantly, the answer is intuitive. Both of you must want it to work, or it won’t. The answer is in your heart, your core… your spirit… your soul. You know the answer.
10 Things That Go a Long Way Towards Making it Work
– Always, always consider the feelings of your partner
– Remembering that words are as sharp as knives and cut just as deep
– Treat your partner as you want to be treated
– Do not assume your partner knows what is on my mind or in my heart
– Listen with your heart
– Speak in terms of feelings and not actions
– Care for your partner
– There is no ego in a relationship
– Relax and play together
– Love and friendship
Both of you must be honest… first with yourself and then with one another. The real answer is that it will either work or it won’t and both represent a new beginning. One caution…. don’t wait too long to discover what you already know.