I planned on attending but the weekend was full of conflicting activities (G’son, swim event, husband). I chose to go to the beach with my husband. It was the wrong thing to do and it was the right thing to do. It’s impossible to choose between two things that one wants without feeling guilty about the final choice. Should I take the PMP or the DAU procurement courses; should I grow my consulting business or take a job; should I do the triathlon or not)…… I want to do it all.
On the one hand, I should have chosen the grandkid, because he’ll only want to be with me for a few more years before he becomes a teenager and ditches me. On the other hand, my husband and I are getting up in age, and who knows how many more years we have together (morbid but true). On the other other hand, I really needed the swim practice in case I do a sprint triathlon this summer.
Having already had the real life experience of being ditched by my older, grown kids, I have real life experience with what happens as they age. I understand it, but I still don’t like it. I miss them. I understand that they are busy developing their own relationships, but I still miss them. I now have the opportunity to have a relationship with our youngest grandchild and I don’t want to miss out. So, I feel guilty that I chose G’dad over him while at the same time, I am enjoying the time with G’dad (even though he has now been away fishing for 3 hours). Choices… choices… choices.
The answer is in “what if I had a do-over”. Would I choose G’dad, G’son, or swimming. The answer is “I would chose G’son, because then I could still swim and G’dad will be just fine fishing.