Listening to opera play at Bernie’s memorial service with so many thoughts going through my mind. Wish I could have recorded my thoughts on my Notepad at the time, but there are still some things that are rude even in this electronic age.
Thought about the fact that one day my husband or I will leave the other… Ugh. Thought about how I’ve entered the time of life when each year I will now be attending the funeral of a friend…Ugh…Ugh. Thought about how Bernie received a parting gift that most of us don’t get… a year to prepare and work on his bucket list.
Asked myself what I would do if I had a year to prepare. I could stop worrying about the mundane stuff of life. I could relax. I could eat anything I wanted without fear of getting fat for who would care? People would probably think I looked healthy because I was getting fatter. For the same reason, I wouldn’t need to exercise.
I could say anything I wanted to anyone, especially my daughter, because who would get angry with a dying woman.
I’d have to prepare my bucket list, but I never really wanted a lot of things and didn’t want to do much out of the ordinary. In fact, I’ve done and had most of the things I wanted. The only thing I would ask for is to live in a nice house on the water in Old Town Alexandria where I could walk to restaurants, theaters, and shops and have my friends and family visit.
I’ll still get sad at funerals and I’ll still lament the loss of those who leave and grieve with those left behind. But… there’s a lot of living left to do so I’m getting to work on my bucket list.