Here I find myself nearing another decision crossroad… to stay or to come back. I’ve tendered my notice, but am considering other work options that could bring me back to the UAE. After being away from home for 10 months, I feel a desperate need to go back and touch bases with friends, family, and favorite foods while wanting to continue this amazing adventure where something new is added to life’s buffet every day.
Going for two interviews and my husband has cautioned me against a Freudian attempt to torpedo myself. He suspects that my desire for home may be so strong that I will subconsciously fail the interviews. I know from my husband and others that home is a myth and a comfort rut. I understand that everything at home is the same. I know that friends and family are doing the same things and saying the same things. I know that time has continued at the same pace for them while I was transported to another dimension where one earth-minute is equal to 10-xpat minutes. While the arms of my clock have been whirling by, theirs has been pretty steady and methodically plodding on. But, slow and steady can feel good. It’s comfortable.
Comfort can be like a siren song. Like being held in a mother’s arms and not wanting to leave. It’s scary out there so why not remain comfortable in our cocoons. The answer is that we miss so much in our cocoons. We are born onto a planet with so much to see, do, and experience. So, it seems a terribly wasted opportunity to remain in one place all our lives.
I will not torpedo myself. I will march forward and do my best so I can make the choice instead of them.