Wonder how many years it takes to become one with a partner. Certainly more than five. Maybe more than 10. But, somewhere along the line after all the hurts, joys, tears, breakups, sorrows, and laughter, something begins to happen. Like most children, I had a ringside seat at the table of my parent’s marriage. As a child, I remember the major swings in their relationship, but as an adult, I began to appreciate and long for what they had.
Towards the end of their marriage, they became dependent on one another, but in a good way. Mom’s eyesight was failing… so he was her eyes. Dad’s memory was failing…. so she remembered for him. Where one went … so did the other. I never thought I’d say this, but Clay and I would be so lucky to have a relationship like theirs.
Our recent 20th anniversary gave me pause, but I wasn’t sure why. Maybe because I don’t think about being married… I just am. Maybe because I see a glimmer of what my parents had in our relationship. The 20th certainly seemed to have more significance than all the others. Of course, when measured against those who have been married 30 and 40 years, our little 20 is a drop in the bucket, but it’s our bucket, and we’ve been busy stuffing that bucket with all kinds of memories… birth of grandchildren, death of parents, cruises, moves, summer backyard pool parties, and lots and lots of fun stuff.
Many of those memories are saved in our electronic photo album that I searched for photos to frame as a gift for my husband. That search became quite a foray down memory lane. Pictures allow us a chance to re-experience a moment in time. To savor the joy of a grandchild’s smile while floating in the pool. To relive a time when we danced on an anniversary cruise.
Having a compatible partner is a gift. I never want to take him for granted. I frequently tell him how important he is to me. He is my partner, my lover, and my friend. Maybe that’s why this 20 year milestone is so important. It doesn’t seem possible, but I love him more and more each day.
Happily on my way to becoming my mother 😉