Today, I walked hand-in-hand with my husband up a Dubai sand dune… he pulled and I trudged. We are determined to do all that we can as long as we can. While trudging up the dune, I remembered my old friend Natalie who said that she had a 20 year old mind trapped in the body of an 80 year old woman and now I understand what she meant. My spirit is as strong as ever (or so I tell myself). I could still play racquetball and golf (if not for my knee injury from skiing). I could still do Body Pump “dead lifts” (if not for my back). I could still run (except for my foot problem).
My husband says it doesn’t matter as he seems to fit the topic of age into every discussion with anyone who will listen. Unfortunately, as he brags about his age and our grandchildren (in picture), it becomes apparent that I am possibly as old as he.
I know it’s unfair to blame him, because my body is the biggest tattle tale. The lines in my face (wisdom). The sag in my chin (gravity). The pace of my walk (slower). But it’s not really about aging per se. There’s nothing wrong with aging if, as Natalie said… one has the mind of a twenty year old. It’s not even about vanity (won’t admit to dying my hair) it’s about loss.
I lament the loss of speed and agility, but I refuse to let go. I watch my students as their fingers fly across the keyboard of their laptop and their mobile phones. I can do all the same things… just slower. I know that inside there is a 20 year old who is just as smart, strong, intelligent, and determined as ever.
I will continue to do it all (whatever “it” is) as long as this twenty-year old can hang in there.
Signing off from atop a Dubai sand dune.