What You Seek Is Within

You turned to a couple with some years on them and 22 years in the marriage saddle in the hopes that we had the answer, and I sorely wished we had the script writers from Father Knows Best or the Cosby Show, because they always knew the right thing to say in every situation. Unfortunately, TV only imitates real life. Script writers get hours to prep “the right answer” and they have the luxury of wrapping everything up neatly with  happy ending in 30 minutes.

I so wanted  to give you the “right” answer. I wanted to solve “it”. I wished we had the sage and wise answer. Of course the sage and wise answer is that “what you seek is within”.

In your individual hearts, you know whether this is the person that you want to be with. You know if you want to build a life with this person. You know whether you want to be a couple or single… whether you would deeply miss your partner if he/she were absent from your life. You know whether this person makes you better, or happier, or saner or calmer. You know it’s right when you look forward to ending your day together. You know it’s right when you discover something and the first person you want to share it with is your partner.

A relationship is not an intellectual decision. It’s totally emotional, but more importantly, the answer is intuitive. Both of you must want it to work, or it won’t. The answer is in your heart, your core… your spirit… your soul. You know the answer.

10 Things That Go a Long Way Towards Making it Work

-          Always, always consider the feelings of your partner

-          Remembering that words are as sharp as knives and cut just as deep

-          Treat your partner as you want to be treated

-           Do not assume your partner knows what is on my mind or in my heart

-          Listen with your heart

-          Speak in terms of feelings and not actions

-          Care for your partner

-          There is no ego in a relationship

-          Relax and play together

-          Love and friendship

Both of you must be honest…  first with yourself and then with one another. The real answer is that it will either work or it won’t and both represent a new beginning.  One caution…. don’t wait too long to discover what you already know.

Hurricane Irene is knocking on the door

Today, as I sit with the sliding door open, listening to the light rain and waiting for the full force of Hurricane Irene to arrive, I am enjoying my husband’s windchimes. When at home, I always have light instrumental music playing in the background. But, sometimes I just like to listen to the sounds of nature, and today is one of those days.

Today, I can see and hear the rain falling off the roof. I can see and hear the tree branches swaying in the wind, and the chimes, though nice, are a distraction. They are unnatural. The winds and rain come in waves like the ebb and flow of the ocean. Some bursts of wind are stronger than others, and the tree branches sway like dancers on a dance floor.

Ultimately, I don’t know what Irene will bring, but right now… I’m enjoying her approach.

Stay tuned.

Irene is Coming: Grab your surfboards and shoot the waves!

Last evening the atmosphere was orange. This morning the winds and rain are arriving. Tuned out the constant drone of news reports and sat on my covered porch to experience the moment. I can hear the tinkle of raindrops and see the tree branches swaying. The humidity has dropped and the air is a soothing warm temperature. Maybe this is what they call “the calm before the storm”.

I sit here in anticipation and wonder what will actually occur. Will it be another “storm of the century”? Will it fizzle out and be no more than a nice summer rain? Then I realize that’s what makes life interesting. It’s the unknown. No one ever knows what the next moment will bring, and that is what adds excitement to life. The newscasters are able to play into our fear and excitement of the unknown. It’s like watching a scary movie when we sit in a dark theater anticipating the unknown.

This morning I observed that the birds had gone to wherever birds go before a storm and there were no insect sounds. I watched my husband gather all the loose items around the yard and appreciated having a protector.

We have a choice… we can hide under the covers and fear the unknown; we can sit in the window or on the porch and be awed by mother nature; or we can grab our surfboards and shoot the waves.

You choose.